Duckboy Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 AMERICA Here is something about AMERICA. I didn't write it, but it's still awesome: I am endlessly pleased that, despite all of our debating and anger over so many things that happen within our fine borders every single day - whether it be a cop choking some skateboarders or a president commutating a perjurer - and despite all of our insults, we can be united, even just for one day, under one of the few undeniable truths in the known universe: America is fucking awesome. Seriously. Sit back. Think about it for a while. I'll wait. This is America. We gave the world the fucking automobile. We gave the world the fucking McDonald's hamburger. We gave the world basketball and we changed football from pussy bullshit to a real man's game. We have Jack Daniels and Sam Adams, we have enshrined documents that celebrate telling Britain to fuck off, we have people floating on five empty orange juice bottles and a plank of wood trying to scramble into our borders because we're just that fucking good. We've put shit into space purely because we can. Hell, we put people on the goddamn moon. The moon! Remember that guy who hit a golf ball on the moon? You bet your ass he was American, and the only way it could have been MORE American is if he took a football - a REAL football - to the moon and launched a 145-yard pass to Buzz Aldrin and spiked the shit out of it while fucking a cheerleader in a spacesuit. We've changed English from just another variety of tea to a goddamn world language. We've got Hollywood, a sprawling city dedicated to movies. Movies! We've got New York City, the best fucking city in the entire world. We've got Texas, we've got Michigan, we've got Chicago, we've got Seattle, we've got Maine. Whatever we don't have, we buy it. Because we can. Because we should have owned it already. Because we're just that fucking great. We've got Harvard. We've got rock and roll. We've got the Grand Canyon, the Poconos, Mt. Saint Helens, the Great Lakes and the San Andreas Fault. We've got endless waves of grain and purple mountains' majesty. From sea to shining sea, fucking amen. If you know a better country than the United States of America, check again - because your ass is wrong. Godamn STRAIGHT Now, talk about how much you fucking love America and how fucking awesome this country is. HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY. Let's celebrate AMERICA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ligar Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 FUCK YEAH!! Captain America is full of cosmic win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo Hazard Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 This is the best topic I've seen. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzMaster Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 im canadien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tentril Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 Americas ok. I can't honestly say its the best, because I've never left here so this is all I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serephim Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 FUCK YEAH!! Although i was heartbroken you typed the direct words out of my mouth. Gasoline, Styrofoam Cups and Explosives, time to MAKE MY NEIGHBORHOOD HAZY BABY Edit: oh yeah sorry England that we kicked your ass (do they have a kind of Filler holiday for July 4th?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowgoten Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY. Let's celebrate AMERICA cock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duckboy Posted July 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 cock terrorist commie scumbag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayling Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 Wappy 4th, guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khorney Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 bah, upty youngsters, come talk to me when you've learned to properly exploit indigenous populations without pissing off the rest of the world in the process. and stop swapping in z's in all our words, it cocks up my spell check Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron C-T Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 Yea, yea America's awesome, whatever- who's that chick in the first image? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Rat Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 Kazakhstan greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium. Other countries have inferior potassium. Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool. It’s length thirty meter and width six meter. Filtration system a marvel to behold. It remove 80 percent of human solid waste. Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place. From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown. Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan. They very nosey people with bone in their brain. Kazakhstan industry best in world. We invented toffee and trouser belt. Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region. Except of course for Turkmenistan’s. Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place. From Plains of Tarashek to Norther fence of Jewtown. Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader. From junction with the testes to tip of its face! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DimensionWarped Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 I'd participate in your Fourth of July stuff, but I've been launching real fireworks for the past couple months now and can no longer appreciate cheap shitty entertainment-grade explosives anymore. Oh, but don't worry, the fireworks I'm playing with these days are every bit as, if not more American than the shit you guys will be firing off tonight... or if the city you live in happens to be communists, you won't be firing off tonight because the police are fucking twats who want to pretend that fireworks are some kind of hazard and people should just be bitches and barbeque on the Fourth without having any real fun. Fucking communist cities! Actually, I'm in one right now. But the city border line is just a few hundred feet down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pheonix Gamma Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 Our economy is down, gas prices are up, we're still at war for no good reason, and Bush is still in office. Also, every other country hates us. Sad America is sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duckboy Posted July 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 Yea, yea America's awesome, whatever- who's that chick in the first image? Rachel Bilson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duckboy Posted July 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 AMERICA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron C-T Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 What PG said. Hawtie McHawt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael0505 Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 fuck yeah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slingerland Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sockman Posted July 4, 2008 Report Share Posted July 4, 2008 America, FUCK YEAH! Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah, America, FUCK YEAH! Freedom is the only way yeah, Terrorist your game is through cause now you have to answer too, America, FUCK YEAH! So lick my butt, and suck on my balls, America, FUCK YEAH! What you going to do when we come for you now, it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow FUCK YEAH! McDonalds, FUCK YEAH! Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH! The Gap, FUCK YEAH! Baseball, FUCK YEAH! NFL, FUCK, YEAH! Rock and roll, FUCK YEAH! The Internet, FUCK YEAH! Slavery, FUCK YEAH! FUCK YEAH! Starbucks, FUCK YEAH! Disney world, FUCK YEAH! Porno, FUCK YEAH! Valium, FUCK YEAH! Reeboks, FUCK YEAH! Fake Tits, FUCK YEAH! Sushi, FUCK YEAH! Taco Bell, FUCK YEAH! Rodeos, FUCK YEAH! Bed bath and beyond ... Liberty, FUCK YEAH! White Slips, FUCK YEAH! The Alamo, FUCK YEAH! Band-aids, FUCK YEAH! Las Vegas, FUCK YEAH! Christmas, FUCK YEAH! Immigrants, FUCK YEAH! Popeye, FUCK YEAH! Democrats, FUCK YEAH! Republicans ... Sportsmanship ... Books ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pheonix Gamma Posted July 5, 2008 Report Share Posted July 5, 2008 WHY THE FUCK HASN'T THIS BEEN POSTED YET? http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=5722 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serephim Posted July 5, 2008 Report Share Posted July 5, 2008 because Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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