Lhan's fanfics and drabbles

[Lhancat]

So yeah. I write. I've taken a bit of a break from it, but I feel I can get back into it now as long as I have help. This latest fic was just a warm up thing I did to help me. It mostly focuses on my thoughts and feelings I've had these past few months. It's fairly rough though. More to come soon. Enjoy.

 

Frustration

Lhancat sighed as he slammed the bottle down on the table. It had been just another day…but something on the back of his mind was nagging him. He figured the best thing to do would be to drown his sorrows by drinking. He wasn’t even sure if cats like him were allowed to drink. But whatever. He had more important things to worry about. He sat down in his chair as he began to write whatever was on his mind.

 

“I meet all these people at work….they’re friendly most of the times but…how many of them are just hiding behind a mask? I feel like their friendship is an act sometimes. I always get the cold shoulder and awkwardness while they’re off having fun as usual…I’m the least selfish person ever and work hard for their approval…but yet I never get it. In the end I’m still that annoying kid who pesters people...”

 

“Part of me has thought about cutting off ties and moving on. But I can’t. I rely on them too much. I’d just be a broken mess otherwise. No one really understands me. I care for them and offer advice and show my concern when I feel something is wrong. No one ever asks me how I’m doing. No one even approaches me…I’m always the one that has to do small talk to start a conversation…”

 

“Am I just a tool? Am I to be spoken to only when needed, then just tossed away and treated like an object whenever it suits them? All I ever wanted was…someone to be there for me. A friend I could call a friend…and not just an acquaintance. I’ve wronged so many lives and made so many mistakes. Maybe this is my deserved punishment for back then…”

 

Putting the pen down for a second, he stopped writing. He tried to think of what other things he could write. In the end, he couldn’t think of anything more. Taking another shot of liquor, he crashed on his bed as he let those thoughts haunt his dreams.