BRPXQZME

I’m someone who used to share way too much information on the Internet. Somehow, you’ve found some posts I made before I ever made good ones (I’d estimate it took about ten thousand, and these would be between three and five thousand). At least, I think I know how to make better posts now. If one of my greatest fears is embarrassment, being judged, or the like... I sure played myself! Somehow, scrubbing a few of them just because I cannot stand by the statements any longer feels like the wrong thing to do, but in this decade I’ve seen the natural consequences of not doing so, and it appears I must.

Thinking back on it, it was one of the darkest times in my life. It truly breaks my heart that me now couldn’t be there for me then. There’s so much advice I could give, even if I’m arguably not a better person now than then. If I could keep it vague and generic: (1) Lean into your fears more often. (2) Figure out what your best interests are and write them down. Nobody else has your best interests in mind. (3) Ask for things more. Your sense of humility and pride got severely distorted because #2 so just #1.

That’s not specifically what I’d send back in time, but I hope maybe that helps someone with the same mindset I was stuck in (which, I imagine, may not be common). If you keep trying, you’ll get there. It’s okay to give up. Some things will matter to you more than others. Just don’t give up on the things that matter.

For what it’s worth? I do miss my friends from last decade, of course. But since I am so far from my goals… perhaps farther away today than a dozen years ago… I hope one day soon I do you proud.